{"id":15942,"date":"2019-05-24T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-05-24T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/rany-po-vystupeni-z-kruhu-domaceho-nasilia\/"},"modified":"2019-05-24T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2019-05-24T00:00:00","slug":"rany-po-vystupeni-z-kruhu-domaceho-nasilia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/rany-po-vystupeni-z-kruhu-domaceho-nasilia\/","title":{"rendered":"What remains in victims after they leave the cycle of domestic violence"},"content":{"rendered":"

Domestic violence can take hundreds of forms and manifestations. However, it is important to know that this behaviour happens behind closed doors in the privacy of family homes or apartments, escalates as the relationship progresses, and never ends on its own. In addition, there are psychological wounds that remain for victims even after they have left the cycle of domestic violence.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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For many, there are few things that evoke a comforting sense of warmth, comfort, stability and security more than home. Many people see their home as a personal fortress - a kind of bastion full of unconditional love and support. At home, we tend to have more freedom, more time for family, and it's where we can escape from the everyday worries of work and the like, at least for a few hours. But for people experiencing domestic violence, home is anything but a safe haven.<\/p>\n

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Domestic violence refers to behaviour between close people (spouses, partners, parents vs. children, able-bodied vs. a relative with a mental or physical disability, etc.) that is characterised by deliberate power and controlling behaviour by one towards the other. This can manifest itself not only in physical aggression, but also in sexual violence (rape, coercion into sexual practices, etc.), psychological violence (humiliation, threats, etc.), economic violence (e.g. taking money, manipulation of shared property) and social violence (isolation from family and friends, control of mobile communications, emails, etc.).<\/p>\n

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Shocking incidence of domestic violence in Europe<\/strong><\/p>\n

A study by the Vienna-based European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights (FRA), presented in 2014, found that up to a third of EU women have been victims of sexual or physical violence at least once in their lifetime. In these cases, the vast majority of violent acts come from an intimate partner or directly from a partner. However, the majority of women do not report the assault.<\/p>\n

Women are afraid to report violence against themselves for a variety of reasons - for example, fear that no one will believe them; fear of retaliation from their partner; fear of the breakdown of their marriage and the subsequent loss of their home or children; and so on. But let us not forget that men are victims of domestic violence almost as often as women.<\/p>\n

Male victims, however, talk even less about the violence against them. In addition to the same fears that women have, they are also limited by the feeling that they have failed in their \u201emasculine role\u201c, which according to commonly held stereotypes is supposed to be the strong and dominant one. We need to realise that women can also be violent and aggressive, and men can become their victims.<\/p>\n

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The victim's response to the traumatic event<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fractures, bruises and abrasions are easily visible signs of domestic violence. But just like physical injuries, the emotional wounds that come from these traumatic events deserve our attention and care.<\/p>\n

As the American Psychological Association (APA) explains, psychological trauma is \u201ean emotional response to a traumatic event\u201c that limits a person's ability to function normally. The degree of psychological impact will vary from person to person, but most people experience increased emotional distress after traumatic events. Fortunately, this stress often subsides if the person is given appropriate support from family members, friends, psychologists or other social connections.<\/p>\n

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Wounds that are not visible at first glance<\/strong><\/p>\n

However, the situation is not so clear-cut for victims who are abused by a partner or other close person. Fear of retaliation from an abusive partner can prevent victims from seeking help. Lacking the (aforementioned) necessary psychological support from those closest to them, this can then lead to increased fear, anxiety, depression, anger, post-traumatic stress, avoidance of social contact, drug or alcohol use, and even suicide attempts.<\/p>\n

These psychological and emotional wounds, remaining and lingering in victims after domestic violence, are devastating. They can haunt a person for years and rob them of the opportunity to live a happy, dignified, fulfilling life. And because they are not visible to the naked eye, they often go unaddressed, untreated.<\/p>\n

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Social impacts and consequences of domestic violence<\/strong><\/p>\n

The problem with such deep wounds is that they have far-reaching consequences. They often affect a person long after the violence has stopped or the victim has left their abusive partner. In fact, the victim of domestic violence is subjected to all sorts of power practices. Their social life is very limited. Every day she hears about how incapable she is, she is intimidated by breaking objects, physical harm, threats, feelings of guilt or shame, and so on.<\/p>\n

These violent and controlling behaviors can have a serious impact on how the victim functions in society, even long after leaving the relationship. Often the abuser wants to limit the victim's social contacts as much as possible so that there is no one to stand up for them - so sooner or later the abuser will force the victim to leave their job, thus depriving them of their financial resources. If the victim is then financially dependent on the abusive partner, any decision - to flee the partner - carries a real threat of losing housing and, consequently, childcare.<\/p>\n

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Impact on future intimate relationships<\/strong><\/p>\n

In a \u201enormal\u201c case, a person with a problem would look for support among relatives or friends. In the case of domestic violence, however, it is often the case that victims are left alone in their misery and past resources are no longer available.<\/p>\n

Even if a person manages to emerge from an abusive relationship, the scars they carry from the past can affect subsequent intimate relationships. Either the will to enter into partner relationships completely disappears or the person does not believe that healthy relationships exist at all. Therefore, even if they do enter into new relationships, their expectations may be skewed and unhealthy - based on previous negative experiences.<\/p>\n

When building new partnerships, unrepressed memories of past relationships (for example, during intimate moments with a new partner), nightmares, communication problems or feelings of worthlessness may also occur.<\/p>\n

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Impact of domestic violence on children<\/strong><\/p>\n

According to sociological research carried out between 2001 and 2006 by the STEM agency, 80% of families in which domestic violence takes place have children. They may be direct or indirect victims of domestic violence.<\/p>\n

The negative impact on the physical and psychological well-being of children who are directly abused or neglected by parents or other close people is undeniable. And although uninvolved observers often think that if a child is not directly targeted, it does not affect them, this is not true. Children always perceive that something is going on at home. They are defenceless against parental violence, but they feel complicit in the violence that takes place at home. They may try to protect their parents in a position of vulnerability, thus putting themselves at risk of attack. They live under permanent stress, in an atmosphere of threat, unpredictability of the future course of the situation, experiencing helplessness, fear, etc..<\/p>\n

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Transferring learned behaviour from home<\/strong><\/p>\n

Children have behavioural disorders, problems at school and psychosomatic symptoms as a consequence of surviving domestic violence. These are accompanied by psychiatric disorders, sleep disturbances, reduced self-esteem. They suffer from feelings of guilt, behave aggressively and are often suicidal.<\/p>\n

Of course, children often carry the violent behaviour they learn from home into their own adult relationships.<\/p>\n

As victims of partner violence, parents often argue that they do not want to leave their partner for the sake of the children - they want to keep the family together. However, it is important to say that in doing so, they do exactly the opposite. In most cases, the aforementioned negative effects of a violent relationship have much more serious and far-reaching impacts and consequences on children than they would have had while living in a stable, non-violent environment (albeit with one parent absent).<\/p>\n

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Let's not turn a blind eye to domestic violence<\/strong><\/p>\n

You must have heard it said in the past that \u201edomestic violence is a private matter between two partners and no one else should be involved\u201c. However, the fact remains that the victim of domestic violence is usually unable to defend herself against manipulation in the relationship and, for a number of reasons, is simply afraid to leave the relationship or to seek help.<\/p>\n

If you know someone in your neighbourhood who is experiencing similar situations resembling relationship or family violence, do not be indifferent to them. Listen to the potential victim, trust them, do not belittle their situation, even though the stories of abuse described may sound unbelievable. Because a manipulator can appear charismatic and charming to the victim's surroundings and extended family, it is sometimes hard to believe that he or she is capable of such aggression and is actually subjecting someone in the relationship to violence.<\/p>\n

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Instead of pseudo-therapy seek help<\/strong><\/p>\n

If it is possible and safe to do so, you can give the person experiencing violence temporary shelter or help them to seek help from professionals. However, do not try to be a self-proclaimed \u201etherapist\u201c for a potential victim of violence unless you are familiar with the issue. Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, we can do more harm than good to the person (with those often invisible psychological wounds and traumas).<\/p>\n

If you yourself are a person at risk of violence, know that you are not alone in this. There are many organisations that can help you with your problem. For example, you can call the National Helpline for Women Experiencing Violence on freephone 0800 212 212. In addition, there are civil society organisations and non-profit organisations that provide free legal advice, psychosocial support or both forms of help and support at the same time. You can contact our Crisis Intervention Team (KIT) of ADRA Slovakia by email: kit@adra.sk<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Text: Veronika Morh\u00e1\u010dov\u00e1, social worker at KIT, Photo: ADRA Slovakia<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dom\u00e1ce n\u00e1silie m\u00f4\u017ee ma\u0165 stovky foriem a\u00a0prejavov. D\u00f4le\u017eit\u00e9 je v\u0161ak vedie\u0165, \u017ee toto spr\u00e1vanie sa deje za zatvoren\u00fdmi dverami v\u00a0s\u00fakrom\u00ed rodinn\u00fdch domov \u010di bytov, eskaluje s postupuj\u00facim vz\u0165ahom a samo o sebe nikdy neskon\u010d\u00ed. Naviac s\u00fa tak\u00e9 psychick\u00e9 rany, ktor\u00e9 obetiam ost\u00e1vaj\u00fa aj po vyst\u00fapen\u00ed z\u00a0kruhu dom\u00e1ceho n\u00e1silia. \u00a0 Pre mnoh\u00fdch existuje iba p\u00e1r vec\u00ed, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":15943,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[292,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15942","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15942","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15942"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15942\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15943"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15942"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15942"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.adra.sk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15942"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}